Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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