I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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