ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
