After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
