so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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