There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
