U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
