NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
