we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
