btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
