You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
