They should really pass out barf bags in church
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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