butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
