how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
