either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
