Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
