just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
