Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You can't special order awesome
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
