i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
