well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
