Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
how does that bad decision feel?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
