She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
