Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
