I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
