Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
