I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
