I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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