so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
