Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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