Screwed.edu
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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