Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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