he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
