Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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