she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
