another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
