He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize