How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize