her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize