HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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