why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
