I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
