if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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