So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
