now i know why i became what i already was.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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