he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
