People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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