I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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