she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
