i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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