Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if only i could text you this smell
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
