tell your sister to shave her snatch
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
