Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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