Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
