Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
