everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
