idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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