I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
