I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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