He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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