a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
