when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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