Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
