i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
