too bad you live with your parents still
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
